Yesterday I spent much of my day scraping off paint, a rather monotonous task that nevertheless gives me occasion for mindfulness practice. As I worked through several layers of paint, I was noticing various thoughts and feelings pass in and out of awareness.
One such thought was how this year I had repeatedly gotten the message not to seek out a new teacher because for now it was up to me to get myself to the next level of consciousness. My mind wasn’t particularly gripped by this thought, and I was ready to let it go when it demanded more attention.
I felt nudged to ask, ‘How will I recognize my next teacher?’ Immediately I was flooded with sensation: the yellow-orange of saffron and marigolds—colors I associate with joy and sunshine—and more than that, an overwhelming feeling of absolute, unconditional love.
I set down my tool, climbed down the ladder, and connected to my breath. As I dropped deeper into the field, I felt myself seated in the presence of a master. I let the feeling wash over me, allowing the emotion in my chest to well up and release before standing to share the moment with the tree outside to witness and hold space for me to ground.
And so I knew that my next teacher would not be someone who would merely teach me a skill or endow me knowledge. S/he would model how to live in unconditional love. I have no sense of the timing, but neither do I feel any urgency to rush things. I’ve already keyed into the frequency within, and all it wants is amplification.
And with that thought I knew it was time to bring in a new manifestation mantra. ‘A heart as big as the world’ was the first iteration, but the yellow-orange color was still around and so I recalibrated it to match: A heart like the sun. That did the trick of making my heart swell!
It was only then that I remembered that just that morning I had woken up with the unusual impulse to draw a tarot card after dreaming of corpses. It was the King of Cups. Here was my message of love, indeed, flowing into my life after I had committed to scraping away at old layers and honoring all my dead selves.
This is why I practice: to be alive in my connection, and alert to the guidance and grace that comes through when I least expect it. So I can glimpse the transcendence that is always available even in the most mundane moments. This is not about retreating into sacred practice, but integrating it into every moment of my day.
We are all connected, each and every one of us— to our deeper truth and truest Self, to each other, to the Source of all life. All it takes to be alive to this is intention, practice, and your utterly wild heart.
EDIT: Read an update here.