Spent yesterday with some trees, and it really felt like the woods were thick with knowing. There were some spots where the energy was so sweet and intense, I would just pause to take it in. There was one tree growing by a creek that I felt drawn to. Its Read more…
It’s a truism in energy work, whether it be in intuitive readings or healings, that the best thing a practitioner can do is get out of her own way. As with all great lessons—and getting out of your own way is a great life lesson—learning comes in layers. When I was first learning how to work in the Akashic Records, the phrase “get out of my own way” pretty clearly translated to cletting go of fear and doubt. The very first time I tried to enter the Records, I was so wrapped up in the fear of messing up and the doubt that I could actually do this for myself, that all I could experience was my negative energy. I had to back out of the Records, take a deep breath, and start my opening process all over again.
As I started to progress in this work, trusting that I could access the Records stopped being a problem. But fear and doubt showed up in other ways. While I knew that I could connect to the Records, I found myself falling into anxiety around my ability to make sense of the guidance I was receiving. Because I started out getting a lot of images, I shouldered the responsibility of being able to make immediate sense of everything I was getting. And if the connection between the question asked and the image received did not seem to have a logical connection, I would automatically seize up in fear and fall into the habit of blaming myself for getting some part of the process wrong. (I missed the obvious fact that this work, like dream work, is highly irrational and symbolic.)
Again, with time, I learned to develop further trust in the process, which in this case meant doing the opposite of my natural tendency to shut down when presented with the unknown. When the Records sent me something I did not automatically understand, I learned how to open up further. What I discovered is that I have so many options in the face of uncertainty: I could wait a moment or two for the image to unfold naturally; I could just start describing the image while trusting that the energy would continue to open up as I spoke; I could ask the Records what this image meant in relation to the question and/or in the context of the seeker’s life; or I could turn to the seeker herself and ask her how the image resonated with her. Knowing which road to take is a matter of intuition, and most times I seem to choose well. But I have also come far enough along in my practice that even if I “get it wrong” the first time (i.e., I ask the seeker if an image means something to her and it turns out that she is as clueless as I am), then I simply choose another avenue without beating myself up for having to try again.
Getting out of my own way also entailed releasing the pressure of “right interpretation” and “full understanding.” (more…)
This exercise involves answering a question from the heart in order to get to the truth of who you are. When I did this with my friend Jennifer Urezzio, I was in a roomful of strangers, raw and tearful because I had failed to get through the main exercise of the day. In this vulnerable state, Jennifer kept asking me “What do you do?” Finally, my ego was so exhausted from trying to defend myself that I just blurted out, “I bring people together. I hold space. I shake things up.” At that moment, it was like the clouds parted and my heart lightened. I knew I had finally waded through the fear and gotten to a kernel of truth about myself.
This activity is best done in a group setting where you don’t see the questions ahead of time, and everyone draws one at random right before her turn. I’m not gonna lie. This can get really intense. The measure of success here is not how polished your answers are (this is not a “public speaking” exercise in the toastmaster sense). The point is not to be eloquent, slick, or impressive, but to speak from the heart. And short of that, the point is to learn what is getting in the way of speaking our truth.
Each question the follows is a heart-centered question, but depending on the person, some might be more challenging than others. Pay attention to where your answer comes from. Try to catch yourself speaking from your head/ego. You will know when you are in that energy if you feel stuck trying to edit your words or if your answer sounds canned or neatly packaged for an interview.
As much as you can, breathe, stay in your heart and remember to rely on the public speaking tool kit we just learned. (more…)
I’ve been writing about how it serves me well to aim for quality rather than “accuracy” in Akashic Record readings. With accuracy being a moving target, I measure the integrity of my work according to the degree to which I can weave the following elements into a reading:
In the previous post I discussed how the reader’s intention is what drives the reading, while my job simply is to get out of the way and follow that lead. Another aspect of a quality Akashic Record reading is presence. In the best of all worlds, a client would be present to what’s going on in his internal and external life. But if that were always the case, there would scarcely be a need for a reading! Even when a client seems to be unconscious of certain dynamics in his life, what is more important is for the reader to be fully present to all the flows of energy in the reading. This includes (but is not limited to): the flow of energy from the client’s Records, the motion of the client in response to what’s coming out in the reading, and also (recalling the earlier point about intention), what’s going on for the reader herself in terms of the doubts, fears, basic human curiosity, opinions, and other forms of mental chatter that inevitably pop up in a reading.
For me, personally, there are lots of things that can get in the way of my ability to offer a quality reading, but I suspect I am not alone in this. Here are the big ones for me: (more…)
Lots of learning around how we hold #fear in our bodies, hearts, and minds today. So much #gratitude for what was shared and for the gamely way everyone jumped into the exercises. On a mission to prove that #mindfulness and shadow work can be a lot of fun! #restorativejustice #selfcare #selfcareforsocialjustice #meditation #dreamersschemers
THREE AGREEMENTS
Dreamers & Schemers kicked off our March session, as always, with an overview of the Three Agreements that uphold our sacred space. This month, since we were about to delve into the topic of fear, I really wanted to emphasize the importance of honoring the self by being gentle and self-compassionate in our self inquiry. In terms of honoring other, I wanted to introduce the idea that sometimes the best way of honoring someone else is by trusting that person’s strength rather than rushing in to comfort at the slightest show of tears. Sometimes the rush to comfort victimizes the other or distracts us from what’s going on inside ourselves in reaction to external distress. Being a compassionate witness is being able to remain centered and expansive in the face of another person’s discomfort, trusting that if the other truly needs help, she will ask for it. As for beginner’s mind, it would come in especially hand during our guided visualizations. To get the most out of them, we have to be able to step out of all our judgments and expectations, effectively emptying ourselves out so we can receive what we can through our intuition rather than being bombarded with messages from our critical voice.
GETTING TO KNOW YOU
The questions I put into the circle today were: What fear have you overcome? and What fear are you currently grappling with? (more…)
Scientific study has shown that we inherit across generations, not only through our psyches, but deep in our genetic makeup. Our genes are literally shaped by the experiences of our grandparents. Chew on that for awhile. Reflect on your grandparents’ lives. Are any of them survivors of war? Of childhood Read more…
The Monster Celebration is perhaps the most famous guided meditation comes from Amanda Owen’s book, The Power of Receiving, and it comes to me via my cherished friend Steph Cowling. I really dig visualization exercises such as this because in addition to being powerful and effective, they are also fun and surprising. Yes, this is a really fun way to do shadow work. (Personally, I found talk therapy to be incredibly important foundational work, but fun? Not so much.)
Owen’s hypothesis is that standing between us and whatever goals we’re struggling to achieve is at least one “monster”—her word for inner demon. In spite of the name, this is not an “evil” or “bad” aspect of the self. To the contrary, she holds that our monsters are likely outworn beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve us (e.g., the Rebel or the Good Girl). Monsters are thus the rejected or misundertood parts of ourselves that continue to haunt us precisely because we refuse to know them more intimately and accept them with unconditional love.
If we want to live our lives in wholeness and integrity, it makes perfect sense that the task ahead is to know and integrate every aspect of the self, including those that we wish did not exist. The magical thing about healing—alchemical, really—is that observing any aspect of the self in loving attention transforms that aspect into gold.
With this in mind, Owen has come up with a playful solution to facing the most feared aspect of the self: throwing it a celebratory party! What better way to embrace someone we’ve ignored or rejected for so long? (more…)
This practice of sitting mindfully with fear is inspired by the work of psychologist and Buddhist meditation teacher, Tara Brach. She teaches that fear is the root of all negative emotion, including those that manifest in ways that do not seem or feel fearful, such as anger, addiction, compulsiveness, and the need for control. If you drill down into any one of these, the root answer will always be fear. My grandmother provides a great example of how fear is the deep-rooted emotion behind most others. I’d never seen her more upset with me than when I came home hours later than I promised. (I didn’t think to call because I got caught up working on a school project.) Beneath her anger, of course, was the fear for my safety. (And beneath that was the love that she was unable to express verbally for most of her life–love tamped down by fear of vulnerability.)
Fear, you’ve surely heard, causes a physiological reaction in our bodies, regardless of how “real” the threat may be. Brach points out that most things that make us anxious are actually not imminent dangers, but either memories of past traumas or imagined future threats. This is why mindfulness—attuning ourselves to what is going on within us and around us in the present moment—is such an effective way of moving through fear. Neural plasticity enables us to interrupt our natural instincts (fight, flight, or freeze) and rewire our brains so we can create more effective ways of being in he world.
The best way of moving through fear, Brach argues, is by going against our natural instincts to turn away from it. (more…)
The Way of Rest by spiritual teacher Jeff Foster is a treasure. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve referred to this collection of little writings, some of which read like poetry, and find just what fits my mood. I’d bookmarked work #33 a couple weeks back because it Read more…
Why Dreamers & Schemers? Because we are what’s born in the dark.