You are the river

Yesterday’s message was “You can breathe light,” and today’s is “You are the river.” At heart they speak to the same truth. But maybe one will resonate for you more than the other, or perhaps each will awaken different knowings and corners of your being.

The image of the river of the Self came years ago from the Akashic Records. I was so exhausted from swimming upstream at the time and asked for guidance. It came elliptically: Step into the river and lay your body down, set your soul free, and know that the river is you.

At that point in my life, when I was coming apart from burnout, step 1 sounded like a dream. Step 2 seemed more abstract, but I could feel into it and imagine what it might be like to live from a more soulful place. Step 3 though…what little I could grasp of it, I wasn’t sure I desired. To my physical mind it sounded like the dissolution of my ego, a mystical merging with the Universe, a renouncing of a self I hadn’t yet fully possessed.

Yet a couple years later, I had started to tap into this river without consciously knowing it. Suddenly in my meditations I found myself centering not on singular points/chakras, but on an inner column of light. That was the internal experience of it. The outward expression of this river was my greater willingness to flow with my greater being, my Brilliant System.

Let’s get one thing very clear. I may have already said this in another post, but it bears repeating: “go with the flow” does not mean allowing yourself to get tossed about by the winds of change. It does not mean resigning yourself to what you believe is your poor lot in life. “Go with the flow” means go with your flow. What I understand now that I didn’t then, is that the tide around me is all me. It isn’t “life” or the “Universe” flipping me about, or “God” deciding to stir things up as he saw fit. It was the flow of my Self. Which meant that all the friction, pain, and difficulty was caused by my small self, fighting my own natural wisdom, my own Brilliant System.

I am not here to advocate for any singular understanding of the force that created life, partly because I believe this is a matter we each must grapple with for ourselves, but also because my own understandings constantly shift, expand, and refine. But right now I cannot say what I wish to say about the nature of the Self without also touching upon the Divine.

I grew up hearing many people say, “God has a plan for you”—not just me, of course, but all of us. The idea is that we are meant to discover this higher purpose for our being, and when shit hits the fan, trust that his reasons will be revealed. This is one way of understanding your place in creation. (You will hold entirely different perspectives if you are atheist or agnostic, both which I have been, too.)

What I have been feeling for myself in recent years is that a) the Divine is not a micromanager—free will truly means free will, and b) my being-ness is so much greater than what I ever imagined. If I have the unconditional love and support of God, which I believe I do, it is significantly mediated by the flow of my greater being. That my greater being is always and already so well-equipped is the gift of creation. But whatever higher plan there is for my life is something my unique flow determines for itself. If I “surrender,” I surrender solely to my greater Self, which cannot but be aligned with Source.

I don’t want you to swallow my personal metaphysics whole. But I do invite you to consider that your flow is so much greater than you might be feeling it is. Right here, right now, open yourself just for a moment to the notion that what you took for the impersonal movements of a random Universe, or the inscrutable actions of a capricious God could very well be harmoniously in concert with the workings of your Brilliant System.

Your Brilliant System is your connection to the river of life. It is your personal river. You can sense it internally in meditation, but it also flows through you and all around you. It is you. The river is you.

And when you learn to relax and merge with the flow of your greater being, everything in your past and so much of your present begins to make sense. You can sense the promise of the future, where to flow into those pockets of least resistance or greatest magnetism. There is peace around the parts that remain shrouded in mystery. There is raw life.

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