Back in 2020 I stopped blogging anything of substance not because I had ceased to learn and reflect on my personal evolutionary dynamic, but because I had started studying astrology, which was showing me was just how exquisitely unique each of us is. When I first emerged from the period I referred to as my “dark night of the soul”—the years following the death of a parent and my burnout from youth work—I shared everything I could as generously as possible. Initially, much of it seemed to resonate—especially around the topics of self care and the basics of turning inward. Yet as I continued to unfold and become more transparent to Spirit, the less intelligible I became to others. I began to question just how relevant the details of my own personal process were. The only ones who fully comprehended me were those who had already walked a similar path. As the only ones who fully comprehended me were those who had already walked a similar path, I found myself uselessly preaching to the choir.

Then in 2021, I went dramatically back into process, and until very recently those experiences seemed too raw and too sacred to discuss. Lately I’ve been repeatedly nudged to share once more.[1] I hope to convey what it is like to enter a life process a second time around.

It makes me chuckle now, but I earnestly thought that, because I had undergone a long dark night just a few years back and came out of it feeling more whole than ever, I already had most of the tools necessary to undergo a subsequent one. I might have remembered my lesson from Sor Juana, who in turn was inspired by St. Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians: for when I am weak, then I am strong. Looking back on the past three years, I marvel at how I was repeatedly shown that I know nothing about anything at all, and it was in those very moments of humbling myself before the Process that my Brilliant System could guide me through. 

I am older and wiser this time around, and hold no assumptions that whatever specific practices got me through this time will get me through the next, let alone get you through whatever you may be moving through yourself. Yet I feel an urgency to remind you that you, too, have a Brilliant System that steers you impeccably through life. Impeccably, I insist (and don’t use that precise word lightly), even when everything looks like it is going wrong and it seems like you are making one poor decision after another.  

Perhaps a gentle suggestion, then: When all else fails (or, rather, looks like it’s failing), you might find your next step in humbling yourself before life and giving yourself over fully and unreservedly to your Brilliant System.

I’ll be sharing more in my new personal Substack and the Circular Temple Substack, where some friends and I write about astrology. Hope to see you there!

[1] After being prompted by an acquaintance, I wrote and published three pieces in rapid succession back in 2022, each of which reflected back on experiences during my first intimate experience within the Process. They form part of anthologies entitled Nature, Shamanism, and Ascension.


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