Yesterday I opened a series on centering with the common limiting belief that being “self centered” is a moral failing. And for me the programming was so deep that when I had finally established a reliable, repeatable way to find my center no matter what, part of me wondered if I had somehow gone numb. Why was I not reacting to the news in the same way? Where had all my ambition gone? Am I just apathetic now?
It took me awhile to come to greater awareness on this, but what I eventually learned is that my new centered state of being was so unlike my old ways that I felt quite alien to myself for some time. Where was the anxiety? The drive to become more? The anger and powerlessness that got triggered every time something awful erupted in the news?
Instead of feeling tossed about by the ocean of life or pushed to keep striving by my own ego, I found myself for the first time in a very long time living in a state of deep internal peace. And this paradoxically at a point in history when all kinds of things were happening around the world demanding our attention. Was this irresponsible?
You will come to your own answer on this, but what eventually settled it for me was the understanding that I wasn’t contributing anything by getting wound up about everything. My role is to keep a strong, stable center and to help others find theirs by modeling it and holding space for them to establish that connection.
From this harmonious, expansive place, we feel and hear and sense what we are called to do, how we are to participate. And it will feel strange at first, living without all the drama. It is its own sort of addiction. Drama can make you feel alive and purposeful. If you don’t know how to find and create what you seek from within, you will look for it externally and even try to manufacture it.
And that really is okay. We all learn as we go. When we take ourselves so far from center, it gives us an opportunity to learn deeply, to find our way back against the greatest of odds, and to serve as an inspiration to others. So behold the miracle that you are. You are a master in the making, wherever you are on your path.
But here is a gentle invitation to come back to center, to find safe haven and a wellspring of well-being within you. To connect to all your gifts, your light. It will take practice, and it will take some adjustment. But once you acclimate to your signature vibration, to being guided by your brilliant system, all the old ways will lose their appeal. I promise.