Achieving personal sovereignty is a hard-won battle for most of us. Nothing exposes our internal limitations more readily than the tendency to recreate the external limits we thought we were so eager to escape. Yesterday I mentioned how I fled to South America trying to get away from my stifling life in NYC, but was eventually disenchanted to discover that I’d managed to drag all my shit down there with me. It shouldn’t have been Read more…
I’ve been getting asked about this lately and seeing lots of people talking about this, so that signaled to me it was time to write a bit more about what it means to me to “do nothing.” First, some personal history: When I worked a desk job what I wanted most in life was to own my time. What was the point of living in NYC if all I did was drag myself to and Read more…
Someone asked me for an Akashic Records reading on a relationship recently and at the very start, when I sent the other person’s name out into the akash, nothing pinged back. As a novice reader this used to freak me out, but I eventually learned that this simply meant we were running the less interesting track, asking the less productive question. Usually this suggests we need to turn the focus firmly back on the self, Read more…
There was a time when I would lament—and by that I mean cry like a baby—that I wasn’t a cat. It’s a running joke now, but I‘m serious. This was early on in my dark night of grief and burnout. I would look at these two magnificent creatures who wandered around my home doing whatever they pleased, and I wanted to be just like them. “How lucky they are. They don’t have to work. All Read more…
A little over a month ago I pulled some sacred geometry oracle cards to see where the energy was flowing for me. I got Universal Love and Earth and was all, “Yeah, yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” (Meaning, if things are going so well for me, why the discontent?) So I pulled a shadow card from the bottom and got Allowance. What a hoot. Serves me right for trying to find answers—answers that Read more…
A year ago yesterday Brian and I moved out of NYC, our home of 20 years, to our place upstate. Right before the move I found a book about a woman who retreats to a hermit’s life in the Adirondacks after some time in NYC. Snatched it up but didn’t crack it open till yesterday. Just this morning I reached the part in the novel where the protagonist talks about her deep ambivalence organizing fundraisers Read more…
As I was working through my “stuff” a few years ago, I would periodically ask to see my Shadow. It’s a good skill to hone, being a shadow whisperer. As with feral cats, the shadow must be coaxed persistently yet gently. It always appears of my asking, but in its own timing. And no matter how self aware I think I am, its form is always unexpected. (After all, I would have long ago dealt Read more…
This morning I woke up with a little nugget of clarity: I am currently spinning the biggest cocoon for myself that I have ever spun in my whole life. I knew that I’d been sitting in the mystery for some weeks now and had long passed the usual phase of resisting it against my better judgment. My trip up to Quebec to sit with some trees in a monastery was partly about peeling back some Read more…
Yesterday I wrote a bit about the One Breath and One Heart, and I wanted to emphasize, if it wasn’t clear, that these experiences are available to you—to anyone—if you invite them in and open to them. I am not special for this, or no more special than you. Becoming aware of the One Breath was my very first glimpse of unity consciousness, where I felt myself at the table of creation as an equal Read more…
A couple of years ago I started experiencing the One Breath that animates All That Is, and then I started feeling my heart joined to the One Heart. It is a little different from connecting to the heart of Source, because for me it is the feeling of being joined to the many in the All, rather than the One. It is the awareness of my heart being a cell in the heart of humanity, Read more…