Dreamers and Schemers

Intuition mapping

As human beings, we have a lot of ways of knowing, and it can make life a whole lot easier when we can figure out how we know what we know, and tap into the most appropriate channels of knowing for every context we find ourselves in. Earlier this summer we talked a lot about discerning the difference between being in our head vs. heart because I am convinced that we tend to overuse our heads in situations where our hearts should be leading. This leads to a lot of overthinking, second-guessing, doubt, and confusion. Our heart knows what it knows, but our head constantly gets in the way. This month I revisited that idea, but with more complexity.

HEAD

First, I want to emphasize the fact that our intellectual faculty is not the enemy. There are times when the head should very definitely lead the way. Deciding between health insurance plans, for example, is a choice we want to be very rational about, because it is a decision that requires us to assess very tangible needs and constraints from financial and medical points of view. Reading through lists, crunching numbers, planning, and making sense of data is all stuff that our brains are equipped to do. The intellect is also great in a supporting role. Once you make a decision from a deeper place in your being (e.g., where you want to take your next vacation), you can task your head with budgeting, planning, and filling out the details.

I still maintain, however, that we tend to rely on our head too much. For some people, it’s when try try to make career decisions. For others, it might be in their romantic relationships. At first it can be challenging to catch ourselves overthinking, because we are so accustomed to being in our heads, and it gives us a (false) sense of being in control. But the more you drop into your body (in meditation, in any mindfulness practice), the more you will recognize the feeling of being in your head. Also, here’s another clue: If you are asking the question “Should I…?” a lot, you are probably too much in your head about something. When you find yourself in this position, I recommend you drop down “lower” or “deeper” into your being. Where, exactly, depends on the context (more on that below). (more…)

By Ysette, ago

The songs of your soul

This was the closing exercise we did to unwind from the previous exercise. This is inspired by something I did with my friend Jennifer Urezzio in a workshop called “Voicing Your Vision.” I posted about this on Instagram, but am reposting here. The full exercise involves taking the second song that comes to you and then singing that karaoke-style in front of a group. When I did this I got paralyzed part-way through and then I started to cry. Since the last activity was so intense, I took this one down a notch and just suggested that we just do the first part of finding our songs.

In Dreamers & Schemers, we’ve done many meditations similar to this where we turn inward to connect to an aspect of ourselves / a source of knowing / flow of energy to find our truth. The advice I always give is to play along and act “as if,” even if you don’t feel or see or hear anything special. If you aren’t used to this sort of exercise, your ego might try to get in your way and tell you that you’re just making it all up, but to that I respond that your imagination is not your enemy. With wonder, curiosity, and beginner’s mind, your imagination will lead you to the very depths of your truth.

SONG OF YOUR SOUL

So here’s a quick meditation exercise that is a lot of fun! (more…)

By Ysette, ago

Voicing your truth

This exercise involves answering a question from the heart in order to get to the truth of who you are. When I did this with my friend Jennifer Urezzio, I was in a roomful of strangers, raw and tearful because I had failed to get through the main exercise of the day. In this vulnerable state, Jennifer kept asking me “What do you do?” Finally, my ego was so exhausted from trying to defend myself that I just blurted out, “I bring people together. I hold space. I shake things up.” At that moment, it was like the clouds parted and my heart lightened. I knew I had finally waded through the fear and gotten to a kernel of truth about myself.

This activity is best done in a group setting where you don’t see the questions ahead of time, and everyone draws one at random right before her turn. I’m not gonna lie. This can get really intense. The measure of success here is not how polished your answers are (this is not a “public speaking” exercise in the toastmaster  sense). The point is not to be eloquent, slick, or impressive, but to speak from the heart. And short of that, the point is to learn what is getting in the way of speaking our truth.

Each question the follows is a heart-centered question, but depending on the person, some might be more challenging than others. Pay attention to where your answer comes from. Try to catch yourself speaking from your head/ego. You will know when you are in that energy if you feel stuck trying to edit your words or if your answer sounds canned or neatly packaged for an interview.

As much as you can, breathe, stay in your heart and remember to rely on the public speaking tool kit we just learned. (more…)

By Ysette, ago

Public speaking tips and tricks

 

Four years ago, when my work with Minds On Fire really picked up momentum, I realized that I needed a new way of speaking my truth in the world, and I turned to Naaz Hosseini to help me. I call her a voice coach, but she is so much more than that because she really approaches her work from a holistic perspective. Before we even open our mouths to speak, for example, she has clients really get into their bodies and create a supportive environment within and without. I present a loose overview of the material in her free e-book, Speak From Your Heart. These tips are great for pulling out whenever you need to speak your truth, in a meeting, over a meal, in conversation, or before an audience. (more…)

By Ysette, ago

August 2017 gathering

 

AGREEMENTS

Even though everyone who showed up this month were Dreamers & Schemers veterans, it was really important for me to go over the agreements given the sensitive nature of the work we were going to do around the throat chakra and speaking our truth from the heart. I reminded everyone that we were there to honor ourselves and our own truth. We would be working at voicing our truth but also recognizing our current limits. We also agreed to honor others, and their truth, and honor their process, however that looked today. And we agreed that to honor beginner’s mind by seeing our truth as coming in the moment, rather than relying on what had been true for us in the past, or voicing what we think our truth “should” be according to our ego or external forces.

 

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

Everyone thought they’d dodged a bullet because we’d skipped over the questions last month in the interest of time. But this month saw the return of the repressed (mwahaha) and I put the questions I’d originally planned to them: When is it easy, medium, and hard for you to speak your truth? For easy, I also included scenarios where it might have been hard in the past, but with work it’s become easy. I played along, of course, so here are my answers: (more…)

By Ysette, ago