Steampunk Tarot‘s Seven of Wands

Boundaries for me are kind of like forgiveness: If you’re doing it right, they are a non-issue. If it feels like a chore involving all sorts of mental and emotional acrobatics, guess what? It’s an invitation to find your center.

I used to be a mindfulness tool collector, so I’ve tried everything at least once. I like the philosophy of non-violent communication, but it’s always struck me as too clunky for spontaneous use. And most other boundary-setting methods are by definition defensive and take as a given that there is something to protect (while also appeasing the people-pleasing tendency of having to be nice). No wonder we end up in pretzels!

I like to keep things simple. I’m not interested in setting up walls. It takes too much energy, it’s counter-productive, and against our nature. When you are centered, there is nothing to protect. That is why the most open-hearted people you know are probably also the fiercest.

I’m not saying don’t study techniques and practice applying them. Try all the tools you need. I sure did. But once you can reliably and repeatedly find your center, so many challenges fall away. You will rarely need to think about “setting boundaries” because you will be living and moving in your truth, which is by nature a coherent, harmonious field.

Not everyone will agree with you or like what you have to say, and you will still have to communicate your needs and apologize for your oversights. But if you do this from your strong, stable center, it will be with ease and grace. Such is the elegance of the brilliant system, which I have been finding is simply brilliant on so many levels!


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