ease and grace

As human beings, we have a lot of ways of knowing, and it can make life a whole lot easier when we can figure out how we know what we know, and tap into the most appropriate channels of knowing for every context we find ourselves in. Earlier this summer we talked a lot about discerning the difference between being in our head vs. heart because I am convinced that we tend to overuse our heads in situations where our hearts should be leading. This leads to a lot of overthinking, second-guessing, doubt, and confusion. Our heart knows what it knows, but our head constantly gets in the way. This month I revisited that idea, but with more complexity.

HEAD

First, I want to emphasize the fact that our intellectual faculty is not the enemy. There are times when the head should very definitely lead the way. Deciding between health insurance plans, for example, is a choice we want to be very rational about, because it is a decision that requires us to assess very tangible needs and constraints from financial and medical points of view. Reading through lists, crunching numbers, planning, and making sense of data is all stuff that our brains are equipped to do. The intellect is also great in a supporting role. Once you make a decision from a deeper place in your being (e.g., where you want to take your next vacation), you can task your head with budgeting, planning, and filling out the details.

I still maintain, however, that we tend to rely on our head too much. For some people, it’s when try try to make career decisions. For others, it might be in their romantic relationships. At first it can be challenging to catch ourselves overthinking, because we are so accustomed to being in our heads, and it gives us a (false) sense of being in control. But the more you drop into your body (in meditation, in any mindfulness practice), the more you will recognize the feeling of being in your head. Also, here’s another clue: If you are asking the question “Should I…?” a lot, you are probably too much in your head about something. When you find yourself in this position, I recommend you drop down “lower” or “deeper” into your being. Where, exactly, depends on the context (more on that below). (more…)