The hardest part of weathering the drama of the last week was waking up each day feeling not myself, and thus being unable to hear my inner voice. When I connected with my Akashic Records, I found paradoxically choppy but stagnant waters, and I couldn’t find the flow. There was a background buzz of amusement from my guides because I sensed that the way out of stagnation was up, but I was stubbornly looking for a linear way out at the same ground level, like a tap that would relieve the pressure and let the waters flow, rather than increasing the pressure till they evaporated.

I know I was doing a lot of dream work because I was waking up exhausted and then napping and dreaming hard once more later in the afternoon. After five torturous days, I woke up from a nap with absolute clarity in the surprising form of a question: “What is true, good, and beautiful in all this?” And then the answer in an image: high school friendships nearly three decades old that have changed and grown with the times.

And just like that, the pressure popped and I felt like myself again. With my heart open once more, I remembered that I am safe and happy in my adult life, that without my high school experiences I would not be who I am today, and I found the energy to address some questions that had seemed like heavy chores just a couple days back. My execution isn’t perfect, and I am still working through some residual resentment, but I am remembering that love is what guides me.

I have more to share about a recent related learning, but am still unpacking and finding words. 


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