Yesterday I mentioned the appearance of crone energy in my life, and today I will share some of what I have started learning from her. The very first thing I did was build up my familiarity of her energy in meditation, where I also held all my conflicting feelings around her presence in my life. When I do this I don’t attempt to suppress anything because the very act of letting emotions roll through me can be cathartic in itself.
The following day I opened a session with my Akashic Records to find out more about her. I still felt some residue of internal conflict so before I asked anything, I mindfully set aside all my doubts and worries so I could find the spaciousness of the topic at hand. (Even in the seemingly tightest binds, there is always more space than you think.) In that space I asked for the significance of the crone and for the truth around my conflicted feelings. My Records got to the heart of my sadness:
“You have already reasoned that this stage in your life is not permanent, because what is. But what you have yet to understand is that the crone is an energy just like any other. And like all flows, she comes and goes in a non-linear fashion. To feel her energy is not any indication of this being the ‘final stage’ in your life, just as connecting with your inner child does not imply regression. Enjoy her presence while she is here.”
Hearing that opened up the flow of discovery even wider because I was able to go beyond my reasoning mind and connect with something that stirred me at a deeper level. Yet I still wanted to know where all my desire went. I felt a chuckle from my Records:
“You are misinterpreting your new desires as a lack of desire because you’ve been looking in the wrong direction. Up until now, you have had a narrow definition of what constitutes desire. Ask what the crone desires.” And immediately I got a flash of an old woman standing in a field of wildflowers. All the plants were shoulder height, and I could see and feel the sun glinting through her hair.
Suddenly I recognized the aspect of me who loves puttering around the tomato plants because they grow tall and I can lose myself in their smell without having to crouch down low. One of the crone’s desires is for taller plants in the garden so she can feel immersed in Earth energy.
I share all this with you not so you can suddenly embrace crone energy in your life, but more to give a window into how a personal discernment practice—through meditation and the Akashic Records, for example—can help you shift from tightness to spaciousness, confusion to clarity, worry to excitement—from resistance, in other words, to love.
Ping me with any questions or to find out more about experiencing your Akashic Records for yourself!