One habit that keeps us constricted, weighed down, or closed off to possibility is the tendency to take on energies in the form of beliefs, opinions, judgments, and worries that are not ours to begin with. This is especially true when it comes to loved ones or clients (if you are on the path of service). If you identify with being an empath, you might be doing this with more distant people in your life or even perfect strangers you hear about in the news.
Here’s the thing: you do no one any good when you weigh yourself down with the troubles of others. Being of highest service and support to others does not mean getting down in the trenches with them or being their emotional crutch. You cannot walk their path. To do so would rob them of their own learning and growth, and it also robs you of focus on your own journey.
The best thing you can do for others is to get so stable and strong in your center, that you start to recognize that this deep wellspring of truth is inside everyone—bar none, no exceptions, in spite of any outward indications to the contrary. As you learn to hold space for yourself, you increase your capacity to hold space for others.
This is how you stop reactive, fear-based behavior. You stop taking in other people’s pain and worrying yourself to paralysis or blind reaction because you trust in their capacity to come to their own truth in their own time. That is the greatest honor you can give to others: recognizing their deep potential for self-mastery. Then from your divine center, you take whatever inspired action there is to be taken in service to others.
The easiest way to work on boundaries is to start at the energetic, rather than the practical, level. You let your Higher Self clear the path for you energetically so you can then take the external steps in easy alignment with that field. A simple invocation I like to use is to ask my Higher Self to scan my energy fields for pockets of energy that were never mine to have and hold, and to send those energies back to their rightful place on a wave of love and light, along with any associated information or wisdom I may be holding, to be received in perfect timing.
This invocation removes not only the weight of the concern, but also the obligation or conviction we might feel around us “knowing better” about another person’s situation. We may be holding wisdom, we may not. If we are, we send only what is for the highest good of the other, without the added weight of smugness, superiority, judgment, opinion, or “I told you so.” Then we let go of any attachment to outcomes.
Whenever you do a clearing, make sure you breathe in more of the energies you wish to embody, whether it is your own essence, your Source, or whatever harmonious field you wish to attune to, such as oneness, inner peace, or higher wisdom.