In my youth work, everything I did turned on two questions: ‘Who are you?’ and ‘Who are you becoming?’ I’d foolishly assumed I’d settled these questions for myself back in my 20s, when I thought to know myself I merely had to discern my preferences and opinions on things, and then to settle into a career that gave me a clear function in the world.

Leaving academia thrust me not only into career change, but also identity loss. When I revisited these fundamental questions, I realized that the transformations I was undergoing wouldn’t allow for a simple substitution of labels: “First I was A, now I am B.” Rather, I had to dig into the ways I truly showed up (or didn’t)–for myself, for others, for life in general.

Over the last couple of years, it’s felt like I’ve come around a bend in the river to find a changed landscape. Where once I had focused on boundaries, triggers, and shadows, now I could start living in the light again. Calling out ‘Who am I?’ returned to me possibilities beyond my wildest dreams, many of which materialized with stunning ease.

Now I see my life’s work as helping individuals connect to their truest essence, not only so they can come home to themselves, but also embrace the strange, wild, wonderful, sometimes scary, unending mystery of the Self.


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